Need to surface

   Lately I feel like I am treading water just to get by, I feel so swamped lately with life. I am constantly questioning my parenting and the way that I deal with the conflicts my girls have 5,6, 20 times a day. I have noticed that I will always favor Rylee when they are fighting over something because Charleigh doesn't throw a fit over it, and if she does its nothing major and I can get her onto something else. Charleigh has been an angel for me, she is an incredibly amazing kid. She listens to me, never acts out and is just a huge blessing to me as my first child....Rylee is the exact opposite. Rylee non the less is a huge blessing as well, but a much harder one to humble.
  
   Then there is the never ending wife duties of housekeeper....or as I call myself the live in maid. If its not the kids toys, its the husbands shoes I am tripping over. The pile of dishes that no matter how many loads I do the sink is always full, and the huge monster of laundry over taking my bed that I need to fold but just REALLY don't want to. I need a nanny just so she can take my girls out for the day so I can clean that house without cleaning up the mess they made while I was cleaning their room.  Why cant they just sit still long enough for me to clean one room with out a mess being made at the same time?

   After this there is the Mommy duties, I am constantly questioning myself in this area as well....trying to do the best things for my girls, Like the 5,000 Preschool workbooks I bought last Sept. for Charleigh and she has only done 2 pages. Why didn't I stick with it? Why do I feel like there is not enough time in the day to be mom, wife and me?

   Oh! and then there is the Friend me...This is the area that I think I do OK in but there is always that conscious asking if I handled this situation OK or if I should have done it this way. I am always hoping that I am being the best friend that I can. I always try to make sure that if there is something bothering a friend that I pick up on it and am their for them, lately I feel that I have been so concerned with me that I have been slacking to them.

   And last but not least the Daughter/Sister me.....UGH! I know this area I suck in! My little sister is moving and have I made it known to her that its a huge step and that I wont be close anymore....does she care? Will she even miss me? I know she will miss her nieces but me? Then there is my mom, she has WAY to much on her plate, and I fear a huge breakdown soon, with my sister leaving, I just don't know how well she is going to handle it and I feel that lately she hasn't been able to really express to me here fears and frustrations.

    With all of this going on I have NO Me, Me time, I'm too busy being a Mom, Wife, Nanny/housekeeper, Sister, Daughter and Friend that I am exhausted at the end of the day that my me time is 20 minutes with Jillian Micheal's sweating my butt off (literally, I've lost 2 jean sizes:)) then  I hit the shower and hit the pillow....oh and Chris still isn't home  yet tonight cause he's in BFE, KS 3 hrs away for a baseball game...CRAP!
 
  I need to surface and catch my breath, I'm usually great at this juggling gig, but lately its getting to be way to much, I need a month of me time, a year of sleep and 10 years worth of no headaches. PLEASE!?!?!?

What am I thinking...I got laundry to fold, rooms to clean and a dinner to make!