Determination

 Sometimes my stubbornness gets the best of me. Sometimes it is the best of me! I have always been a very determined person, when I have a goal or something I want, I put all of my attention, my body and soul into getting what I want.
For example, when I was in high school I was challenged by trying out for my Highs School Dance Team, it took me 3 years of try outs to finally make it. (There was a certain obstacle in my way, but that was her mistake!) My passion was Dance for a long time, I took classes for years!I tried out my freshmen, sophomore and junior year. The last year that I was eligible for try outs before my Senior year, I went into the week of try outs telling myself that I did not want to make the team, that I would just attend try outs to just dance, I think I even wrote that on my try out interview sheet.
However, by the end of the week I wanted to make the team so bad that I was seriously stressing myself out, becoming frustrated when I couldn't stick moves I could do in my sleep. I was determined and practiced outside of try outs for hours, making sure I perfected each routine. That year of Dance Team was the best year I could have ever experienced! I never missed a practice and poured my heart into every performance. I was offered 3 scholarships at the end of the year, unfortunately I passed up all three! Dumb I know, but God knew my fate that summer, and I truly believe it was in his plan, or else I wouldn't be married to the amazing man that I am! (No, Chris wasn't the reason I passed them up, I didn't meet him until after I turned down the offers) That year at our Dance Team Banquet, I was awarded the "Never give up, Never surrender" Award from my peers. That award fits my personality perfectly! 

Whether my goal is something for me, my family or for others I always give myself 100% in everything I do. Right now I am focused on my school, graduating with a bachelors in Early Childhood Development is a huge goal of mine, I am also fully focused on my weight loss, for my personal reasons. There are days where I do just want to give in, but my stubbornness and determination will not allow that to happen! What ever I put my mind to, I allow it to fully consume me. It becomes me, and I become completely determined to finish it.

The past 2 weeks have been hard with my weight loss, I have been yo-yo-ing on the scale, not working out as many days a week as I usually do and have not being paying attention to my portions. On Monday, I choose to stop the trend I was starting and continue back on the right track. The past 3 days I have been working my butt off and really paying attention to how much I eat. I hope that reminding myself that I have to be conscious of what I am doing will allow me to see results...It doesn't happen on it's own. 

Chris finally checked his schedule and we made official plans for our vacation. We have a little over 3 months until our vacation. In those 3 months I want to reach my goal, hit my 50 lbs mark....I only have 19 lbs to lose in 3 months. Its gonna be hard but I know with my determination I will make it! Heck I lost 31 lbs in 3 1/2 months already :)  When I hit the beach in July I want to be confident in which ever swim suit I choose, feel good in my own skin and have my old attitude back! Only 3 months.....I know I can do it!